Venue: The Palace
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Hole Lineup: Courtney Love (Guitar/Vocals), Eric Erlandson (Guitar), Kristen Pfaff (Bass/Background Vocals), and Patty Schemel (Drums).
CL: It’s really easy to get Evan to have a crush on you. Just kidding.
CL: You can call me Your Highness. Hi there. I don’t feel like playing. Does anybody else want to play? I’m nervous. Too many suits in the house.
KP: ??
CL: Why, is something wrong with your bass?
CL: Wait, something’s wrong with Kristen’s bass. Excuse me? Excuse me?
Guy in Crowd: Turn it on!
CL: Your Highness is speaking.
CL: How many rock journalists does it take to change a lightbulb?
CL: Twe…shut up. Twelve. One to change it, eleven to get in on the guest list.
CL: You know what your job is? Your job is to stand in front at a Stone Temple Pilots show and kick girls in the boobs – that’s your job. That’s what you’re supposed to do – and I want you to keep doing it because if you weren’t there, I wouldn’t have a will to live.
CL: Wait.
Courtney sings a few lyrics of an unidentified song.
CL: We’re gonna, um, unveil our new sell-out sound for you tonight.
-CREDIT IN THE STRAIGHT WORLD
CL: Thank you.
-PLUMP
CL: Ron, Ron – can you make the monitors any louder? Is that the most rock thing? Can you make the monitors louder? The most rock thing to say. This…These ones. As loud as they…I can’t even hear myself.
CL: (Singing) I know a place, where I can go…
CL: Fuck you guys, man. (Laughs) Wait.
Audience: ??
CL: I don’t know how to play that stuff…’cause we sold out, now we just play like we’re unveiling our new sell-out sound. Check this out, this is pretty.
-MISS WORLD
CL: What do you want?
KP: ??
Guy in Crowd: Alright, Eric!
CL: Sure, you want a pick? Well, Evan has ones with his name on it.
CL: Fuck that, all I think about ?? This song is called Jennifer’s Body. It’s like, I always tell my friend Jennifer I’d write a song about her, but it’s about someone that’s dead, you know. It’s about evil, rape people, which most of these songs happen to be about.
-JENNIFER’S BODY
CL: Thank you.
CL: It’s coming out soon, sometime, maybe I’ll tell you if you want. We’re gonna play that one song.
CL: Uh, I just…my mother was adopted and I just found out my grandmother, um, who she was, and she’s Jewish, which means I’m Jewish, which I’m so proud of. Can I please have some applause for my Judaism?
Audience applauds.
CL: Thank you. I always knew it.
-SOFTER, SOFTEST
CL: That was really good, Kristen. That’s Kristen – what a FOX!
Audience cheers.
CL: And I don’t think Los Angeles…I’ll let you know Patty. She’s been in about every band in Seattle, but I saved her from all that. She’ll never be in another band again. Does that killer ??
Guy in Crowd #1: Eric!
Guy in Crowd #2: Teenage Whore! Teenage Whore!
CL: I will play that one song – but not now.
Guy in Crowd #2: Got it!
CL: No, we’re doing a little new wave thing now, you’ve gotta get used to a new sound. Check it out.
CL: (Singing) I know a place, where…
CL: Is that Kevin Gasser over there talking while I’m playing? Kevin, I can see you talking. Fuck you man, you’re supposed to be watching me. I’m your friend. Say ‘Hi’ to Billy Pumpkin for me, ‘kay Gasser?
CL: This is a new wave song. It’s called Gutless.
–GUTLESS
CL: Thank you.
CL: What?
CL: I know, it’s better than bootleggers though. They’re not giving any money to Frances for college.
Guy in Crowd: Retard Girl!
CL: We have enough money, it’s ok, they can keep it.
CL: Do you have a light? (??) Just let ’em have it for once. It’s fun, I’ll make ’em wait and stuff. Can I have a light? I want one puff.
Guy in Crowd: Retard Girl! Retard Girl!
CL: Let’s just stand here for a while. Hi, Gary. I have to smoke ??
-TEENAGE WHORE
CL: Move back, chick. Dude. It’s the STP guy, right? Move back or I’ll kick your butt. Move back or you will…you will lose your hair very early. As we all know, I am a witch, I do control the world. I decide everything that goes on in this room…all of you. (Laughs) A little on the megalomaniac side, but still…if you don’t move back, every hair on your head will fall out before you’re eighteen.
CL: I know. No, no, no, wait, wait, wait. Stop, I want to dedicate this song to someone. No, no, no, our friend Jerry…the most…our friend and Jerry – not McLaren.
-ASKING FOR IT
CL: Why are there jock meatheads in the front? Jock meatheads don’t like our band. Jock meatheads don’t like The Lemonheads. If jock meatheads like The Lemonheads, then just dumb, you should just kick ’em. Evan did not start a band so that jock meatheads could like him. Hey, you know Pearl Jam has nothing to do with this show, ok? Wait, who said ‘fuck you’ about the Pearl Jam thing? I’ll ?? you on that. Was that Evan? Fuck you, Evan. Oh, come on out here and sing Even Flow then. Fucker. Evan. Let’s make Evan sing. He likes…they’re screaming for you.
The opening chords to Into Your Arms begin.
CL: C’mere, Evan, I dare you. (Singing) I know a place, Evan you are a chicken. You are a chicken, ah you are a chicken, ah Evan.
CL: Ok, Evan. Listen you little punk, Dando, I’m kicking your butt! Right. Try to follow this, alright. No, I’m just kidding. We love Evan. Yeah, he is way cuter, you’re right.
Audience laughs.
CL: I’m sorry I talk so much, Kristen. I’m just a little drunk.
-SHE WALKS ON ME
CL: Thanks. No, um, Evan might be cuter than me, but he’s not cuter than Kristen – so fuck you guy…and besides that, you know, like cute is not my market.
Guy in Crowd: Got it!
Girl in Crowd: You’re fucking beautiful!
CL: Wow, it’s so ironic, now this song is on the setlist. Two more songs? Evan, can we play three more? Evan, if you just say we can play three more, we can. See – thank you. Thank you, Evan. Cheers.
CL: Well, what’s the new one? (??)
CL: Ok, shut up, shh. This is like a privilege, we’re getting to do an extra song.
-PRETTY ON THE INSIDE
-BEAUTIFUL SON
CL: That song was dedicated to Evan, from his mother Janet, because he’s so beautiful, you know.
-ROCK STAR
CL: Ok, one more.
Guy in Crowd: What?
CL: Now, we’re gonna get kicked off the whole tour, for our first night. Kristen, it…one time, wait…
CL: I’m not gonna do Pennyroyal Tea. Would you do that, if you were me? I’m the girl, remember – no dick. I get blamed for everything, remember? Shut up, shh, I’m gonna play a song.
Guy in Crowd: Fuck off.
-VIOLET
CL: Thank you. Thanks a lot.
(Cut)
CL: Want a cigarette?