Venue: Virgin Megastore
Location: London, England
Hole Lineup: Courtney Love (Guitar/Vocals), Eric Erlandson (Guitar), Melissa Auf der Maur (Bass/Background Vocals), and Patty Schemel (Drums).
CL: I said I got your flash ?? Don’t drive me crazy with them, ok? I feel like I’m being hypnotized.
Guy in Crowd: Do you know what she was talking about?
Girl in Crowd: No.
Guy in Crowd: She’s about to lay it down.
Girl in Crowd: We can get over there.
Guy in Crowd: Yeah, get it over.
CL: Hi. Thanks for coming.
Audience cheers.
CL: We’re East 17.
Girl in Crowd: No, I can’t see a thing.
-MISS WORLD
CL: Jebby, I need louder…louder guitar from… my guitar needs to be louder. Well, it’s not Unplugged, there’s not any rules like that. Turn it up really loud, as loud as you can.
Audience screams.
CL: Levi, turn it up really loud, ok?
CL: This a newish…this is a new song, about a jerk.
Opening chords to Best Sunday Dress.
Girl in Crowd: Move that photographer! Get the fucking photographers out of the way!
CL: It’s got a Blue Danube…Eric!
-BEST SUNDAY DRESS
CL: Thanks. We didn’t say he was a real jerk. Hey, don’t sell these shots to Celebrity Skin, alright, man?
Girl in Crowd: We won’t! Don’t worry about it! I’m keeping them for myself!
CL: I’m wearing underwear and stuff. Oh God, I see an Evening Standard. I see a Star, I see a News of the World. HELP, WE’RE IN TABLOID HELL! You guys, will you kill these people, please?
Audience screams.
CL: Thank you. Let’s just slit their throats.
Audience cheers.
CL: (Singing) I’m a negative creep, I’m a negative creep and I’m stoned.
CL: Well, at least Linda Duff isn’t here, that’s all. That’s Melissa Auf der Maur.
MADM: Hello.
Audience cheers.
CL: And Patty Schemel. That’s the first woman ever to grace the cover of Drum World magazine.
Audience cheers.
CL: A LITTLE LOUDER, YOU PUSSIES!
Audience screams.
CL: And that’s a fucking jerk. No, that’s Eric. Eric, we don’t get along very good.
She flips him off.
Girl in Crowd: I love you, Eric!
-ASKING FOR IT
CL: (During song) Hi, Stephen.
CL: Was I rough on it or something? No. Well.
Courtney takes off her sweater.
Guy in Crowd: Teenage Whore!
Girl in Crowd: Drown Soda! Drown Soda!
CL: Let Stephen stay. He’s the sweet looking guy with the glasses. See, that’s what happens when you’re nice to me.
Guy in Crowd: We love you!
CL: What? Let the kids move up now.
Audience cheers.
CL: Um, I’m sorry for anybody that didn’t get in, but we’ll sign autographs or fucking sing Dylan songs or something.
Audience cheers.
CL: ?? Did you move my sweater, Jebby?
Girl in Crowd: We love you, Courtney!
CL: No, they can stay there, let ’em stay there. They’re not gonna do anything, just let ’em fucking stay there.
Audience screams.
CL: Push it up, just come push it up, just stay where you are and just calm the fuck down, ok?
CL: (Singing) I’m a negative creep, I’m a negative creep, and I’m stoned.
CL: (Singing) Na na na na na na na na, I took her home and made her dessert.
CL: Can we just let that guy know he has the worst hair in rock? He’s my friend, but I just…am I the only one that thinks he has the worst hair in rock? Because he does. Him and the guy in Pulp – oops!
CL: Thanks. Alright. Yeah, c’mon, let’s bring back riot grrl, stop touching her.
Opening chords to Drown Soda.
CL: This is about drowning in your own blood.
-DROWN SODA
CL: Can I have a napkin, please? ‘Cause I’m fucking sweaty, man. Well, if this was a real show, I’d throw you water, but it’s not. I can’t even throw you Vodka. Thank you.
CL: What is this? Give that back to the guy that it’s is.
CL: Melissa, how could you fuck the whole city of Seattle? There’s a million people in it.
MADM: Good question. You’ll have to teach me.
CL: I don’t know, maybe I’ll…maybe I’ll succeed.
MADM: Are you gonna describe what this song is about?
CL: What song?
MADM: He Hit Me…
CL: Oh right, the next song. The next song was written by Carole King in 1965…and it’s fucking sick, man. It’s a twisted song. Where’s my monitors? Oh, there they are.
-HE HIT ME (AND IT FELT LIKE A KISS)
CL: (During song) Slow down.
Girl in Crowd: Eric!
CL: (Fake English accent) Eric. (Resumes normal voice) Eric say, ‘What?’ Eric said, ‘What?’ He doesn’t want to. He has to sit in the corner. He’s been very bad.
-DOLL PARTS
Guy in Crowd: Jennifer’s Body!
CL: It’s your fault. No, it’s not karma. Stop playing all my parts. Yeah, I want another drink.
CL: Hey, here’s another song about another jerk – a different jerk this time. The worst jerk. I’m not telling. No way, read the tabloids, that’s what they’re there for.
CL: I’m so losing it, Chad. They’re really getting flipped over. This kid ?? Just, no…don’t go anywhere, just stay there. I’m losing it. Just don’t go anywhere. Ok, Eric, don’t ?? Make sure that my drink is full. I don’t care. As long as I have my drink, I’m fine.
CL: This song is called Sugar Coma, like if you’ve had too much of something sweet to eat and then you go into a coma.
CL: Eric!
Girl in Crowd: I love you, Eric!
CL: Well, you can have him in your band then.
Audience screams.
CL: Julian Cope – where are you? You can have Eric. I present you, after 15 years…
Guy in Crowd: We’ll have Melissa!
-SUGAR COMA
CL: So, you guys want to hear a song me and Kurt wrote?
Audience cheers.
CL: Ok.
CL: So, what? Is Richard Branson going to come and kick us off?
Opening chords to Old Age.
CL: No, I start it. You don’t…Hold on one second, ‘kay? I’m gonna kick Eric’s butt.
Girl in Crowd: He can be in my band!
CL: I don’t really treat him that bad. See, he acts all quiet, like the victim, but that’s not really the way it is. See, I’ve been set up again to look like an asshole.
Opening chords to Old Age.
CL: No, Eric, I start it.
Guy in Crowd: Who would believe you?
-OLD AGE
CL: Now I’m gonna tell you a story about a song that me and Kurt wrote. It was called Pennyroyal Tea and…
Audience cheers.
CL: No, I’m not gonna play it. Here’s the deal. One day I played it at, uh, a show, we…our band played it at the Grand and this um, this guy, um…no, here, and this guy who, uh, goes out with this woman, her name was, uh, Sally Margaret Joy, and she wrote for the Melody Maker. He…he went home and he wrote a review and in his review he wrote that it was the best song in our set, so I called my husband and I told him, and I called my friend Everett True, who we all know and…and hate and love, and, um, and I said, “Everett, you know, what should I do, you know? ‘Cause, now that it’s now my best song, it’ll be Kurt’s worst song.” So my husband said, well, let’s just forget it, we just won’t play it either of us ever again. So that’s what happens when you try to fucking collaborate with someone and you’re a girl and Sally Margaret Joy is someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend (Laughs).
Guy in Crowd: Play it! Play it!
Girl in Crowd: Play it!
CL: Shall, we do, wait, one more? Should we do that other one that me and Kurt wrote, that Jim Arundel didn’t get his hands on?
Audience: Yes!
CL: Closing Time? Do you want to do that? It’s cute. Ok, let’s do…we’re gonna do one more.
CL: And then, I thought it was weird that the Manic Street Preachers covered that one song of all songs…a song neither of us would play. So this next song we both wrote and it goes, uh, I want to dedicate it to, uh, both of those people that are not around anymore…well, actually all three of them. Me and Patty and Kurt wrote this song once. It’s not very good, but fuck you.
-DRUNK IN RIO (AKA CLOSING TIME)
CL: Goodbye. Thanks a lot.
MADM: Thank you.
The audience is chanting, “We want more!”