Venue: Hultsfred Festival
Location: Hultsfred, Sweden
Hole Lineup: Courtney Love (Guitar/Vocals), Eric Erlandson (Guitar), Melissa Auf der Maur (Bass/Background Vocals), and Samantha Maloney (Drums).
-OLD AGE INTRO
-VIOLET
CL: (During song) Much louder, please.
CL: (During song) LOUDER!
CL: Dude, I need it louder. Like, so much louder. I cannot hear. All the way up, alright. Yeah, well, I’m sorry if I sucked, because I need it loud.
CL: (Speaking Swedish) ??? That means ‘How are you?’ Come on.
-AWFUL
During the song, Courtney jumps down into the audience.
CL: (During song) Oh my God, come on.
Courtney pulls a girl with short brown hair out of the audience. She pushes her over to the stage.
CL: (During song) Get up there.
Courtney pulls a blonde girl out of the audience.
CL: (During song) Come on.
CL: (During song) Get up there.
The song ends and Courtney is still in the audience, surrounded by cameras.
CL: Right. So, you want to take pictures or you want to get on stage? ‘Cause, fucking put your cameras away and you can get on stage. ?? I want you on my stage, come on, c’mere. Give me your hand, give me your hand right now. I’m leading you away from all your fucking Max Martin sugar pop ?? Get your ass up here, don’t hold her back, let her fucking get on my stage. I know I’ll put on a good show, otherwise the rest of the show’s gonna be down here. Fucking…fucking be Swe…be American, jump the fuck up there. You know, this is why we won the war against the British and you fucking didn’t. Right, so listen, if you wanna get on this stage, you get the fuck up here. This is why we won the war against the English and you fucking didn’t. So come on on this stage, I will fucking protect you, you can come up here. Do you understand that, you Swedish people?
Audience screams.
CL: Do you want me to sing fucking Mamma Mia? ‘Cause I’ll sing Fernando if you need it. I’ll also sing Fuck the Police, right Sam? That’s enough goddamn paparazzi, get the fuck out of my face now. Yo, where’s my security? Please leave them alone now. Right, so I only have three of you, you know in America I’d have fifty of you by now. Swedish people, Swedish girls, you need to be fucking more (Laughs) aggressive. All you’ve gotta do is come up here and we’ll ?? Get your ass up here, bitch. Sit your ass down. HA. ?? ?? your such pop shit and your fucking weird, dark metal. I love that you’re existentially depressed, but you know what, fuck that, you’ve gotta be happy. ?? Even if the sun shines 24 hours a fucking day. If you’re good and I get 50 girls on stage, I might show you my titties, alright.
Audience screams.
CL: (Laughs) Not even. I want these paparazzi shits out of here. Wendy, could you please get rid of these fucks? She’s alright, Steven, they’re girls ?? Steven, you’ve gotta…alright. So why do you…oh, you won’t get this joke, I’m not telling it.
-PRETTY ON THE INSIDE
-HEAVEN TONIGHT (CUT AT THE BEGINNING)
CL: You’re a jock, fucker. I don’t want you. I want girls and fags and outcasts. ?? (Coughs)
MADM: We are flicka. Swedish girls, super flicka. ?? Swedish.
CL: You know what Swedish people have a problem with, Melissa?
MADM: What?
CL: They don’t know how to rebel.
MADM: ??
CL: Let me fucking tell you how to rebel. I know Hitler didn’t come here in World War II, ok, but I’m gonna tell you how to rebel. If you fucking want on this stage, you get your ass up here. If you’re a big male jock, I ain’t gonna let you up here, but if you’re fucking an outcast, you get to fucking sit here and learn how to be a rock star. It’s so easy, it takes three chords, alright. All you gotta do is be assertive baby, get your fucking ass up here and you can sit on this stage. Do you want to get on this stage? Alright, no not you, fucking ?? Come here baby…
MADM: Be careful with her.
CL: Just climb your ass over, don’t expect me…I’ll hold your hand when you get there. Good girl. Good girl. Come on, move your ass, move your ass, you’ve got a little yogurt in it. You guys, I’m just playing for this one blonde girl, she’s your…probably your cousin, Eric, ok. Where the fuck’s my blonde girl? See, you guys have a totally fucked social system. What I want…I’m not gonna talk anymore after this. What I want is outcast people getting on this stage. I’m not gonna…there she is. Alright, you little bitch, get your ass up here. HA. Now ya’ll, you sit there and you watch. This is the easiest job in the world. It is capitalist and you can do it if I can do it, right? You can get the fuck out of here if I can, alright.
(CUT)
-MISS WORLD (RESUMES AT THE VERY END OF THE SONG)
CL: See what an easy job this? It’s so easy. You can get out of Stockholm. It’s so easy, just…just…like, learn and be quiet. Alright.
Guy in Crowd: Doll Parts!
CL: Alright, go Melissa.
-REASONS TO BE BEAUTIFUL
CL: (During song) Climb up. Come on. Climb the fuck up. Climb up, asshole – and be calm when you get there. SIT THE FUCK DOWN. Sit the fuck down or I’ll kick you off! Good.
CL: (During song) Be calm when you get there, asshole.
CL: (During song) No.
Several fans are now sitting on stage.
CL: No boys, baby. We’ve got enough boys up here, I only want girls. You motherfuckers, you go to an American high school, you’d be the most popular boy in school. Get the fuck out of my face. You’re gonna have a good job, alright.
EE: That’s it.
CL: That’s enough people? You mean Eric…wait…unless we get a really freaky girl who needs to be up here, Eric. Don’t be such a dick. No, no, I won’t let anyone else up unless it’s like a completely exceptional female, ok.
EE: There’s enough on the stage ??
CL: Well, you know what, Sweden was based on anarchy. The security can’t handle it – that’s their problem.
EE: ??
CL: I don’t want anymore males up here though. I’ll kick you in the balls. If you’re kind of outcast and female, you can come up…but not very many, ’cause then I’m gonna stop. Now listen, shh isn’t this kind of fun? Sit the fuck down or I’ll kick you off. Shh. Sit the fuck down and stop taking pictures of me. You, bitch, give me your camera, come on. You’re a little c*nt, I’m gonna take a picture of you. Give me your camera, I’ll take a picture of you. Come on. You’re on my fucking stage, give me your fucking camera, give it to me, I let your ass up here, you give me your camera. Thank you. Ok, now, we’re gonna play the rest of our set, you’re gonna be-fucking-have and you’re gonna learn how to get the fuck out of Stockholm and you ain’t gonna take no more pictures. Shh. This is a really important lesson. You know what…this is why I don’t have the boys on stage, so don’t act like a fucking boy. We want to play our set shithead, no more pictures. You’re gonna learn how to play three fucking chords and get the shit out of Sweden, alright…unless of course you want Max Martin to write you a song, right.
-…BABY ONE MORE TIME (TEASE)
CL: No more…no more males up here, get the fuck off. I’ll kick you in the ass. Oh yeah, like fucking…death metal bands really let you all on stage, right? You Swedish, Nordic, dominance fucking…I don’t want no more males in my sight. You can come up, sweetie. Come here. Come here with that ??…alright, and that’s it.
CL: Just sit down, just you…sit down, calm down. I’ll give you some water, shut up. ??
MADM: It’s more comfortable out there anyhow, so I suggest you watch from there.
CL: Can we just start playing this song, Eric? This is socialism at it’s best, it’s why you guys should have fucking (Laughs) been socialists in the first place.
MADM: Thank you, anarchy.
CL: Let’s go.
EE: Stop for a second, there’s people getting hurt.
CL: Who’s getting hurt?
-MALIBU
During the song, Courtney climbs up the stage rigging. She climbs down and puts on a hat that was thrown on stage.
-DYING
During the song, Courtney pulls more kids up from the audience. She pulls up a blonde girl and dances with her while she sings, then pushes her aside. She goes over to Melissa’s side of the stage and dances with a girl over there.
CL: Y’all sit down, sit down. Sit down or you’re getting…this is only a test…this is your rock ‘n roll high school. Ya’ll gotta sit on your knees, sit the fuck down or I’m kicking you off.
CL: Honey, could you pass me my water back there – water? You understand English, right?
A crew member brings Courtney water.
CL: Listen, you know what, Melissa? Swedish people don’t make it on fucking stage, ok, like this is not common for them, so this is good. So are you having a good time?
Audience screams.
CL: Would you rather that we all had cocks and black on?
Audience screams.
CL: No, you wouldn’t, ’cause you know we have really fertile pussies and one giant cock…and we can play rock better than any boy on the PLANET!
Audience screams.
CL: Yeah, there’s no fucking boy on the planet who can play rock better than this band!
CL: Yeah, go.
-PLAYING YOUR SONG
During the song, more fans are being pulled up on stage from the audience.
CL: It’s Sweden, Nick, they need it. It’s just a therapy thing with them. Italy doesn’t need this, they’re very oppressed, can you tell? You know, you all, you got really, you know…I went to a spa the other day in Stockholm and I noticed that all the women were big like me – big, tall women – big, tall, big women, so y’all chicks, you know what you need to do? You need to fucking be assertive…you need to, you know what you need to do, you need to get guitars, get a fucking guitar and get the fuck out of here. You’re big, strong, warrior women, you don’t have to fucking sit here and be socialists. You can do whatever the fuck you want, you’re confident Swedish women. I need a future for you, or you’re…or you’re losers and I’m never coming back. Am I gonna get a future from you bitches?
She holds the mic out to the audience.
Audience screams.
CL: ‘Cause look, you have nothing against you, the Swedish system is all for you, you can do whatever the fuck you want – and you’re giants, like us.
She holds the mic out again. Audience screams.
CL: Ha. Alright, so, now it’s a punk rock song. You want to do it? You don’t want to do it? Yeah, let’s just fucking do it, Eric. I’m in the mood. The Swedish people, they need…they need a little enlightenment. Oh yeah, yeah.
CL: Shh. You shut the fuck up – shut the fuck up or I ain’t playing.
CL: (Growling noise) I’ll pretend I’m Slayer. (Growling noise) Nordic dominance, Nordic fucking dominance, yeah, Thor. (Normal voice) Shut the fuck up. C’mere, I want to show you a little poetry. Shut up, I’ll show you a little fucking poetry. Ibsen has nothing on this.
-DOLL PARTS
CL: (During song – gesturing at a girl on stage) You can sing.
She gestures at the girl again, trying to get her to come over. The girl comes up to the mic and sings with Courtney.
CL: (During song) No, girl, sing a little lower. Come on, you can sing.
CL: (During song) No, get the fuck out of here.
The girl sits back down.
CL: (During song) If you can sing, you can sing this with me. Who can sing? If you can really sing, you can come sing this with me. Can you really sing? ‘Cause I’m gonna kick your ass if you can’t. Alright.
A girl with dreadlocks comes over to sing with Courtney.
CL: It’s a really easy song, three chords. Can you really sing?
CL: Alright, let’s go again, ok, we’re gonna do it on the second chorus.
-DOLL PARTS (RESUMES)
Courtney starts to sing and then another girl comes over to sing with them. Courtney puts her guitar on the second girl.
CL: (During song) Good.
CL: (During song) No, you’re flat.
Courtney pushes the second girl away.
CL: (During song) Sorry.
The girl with dreadlocks sits back down.
After the song:
CL: (Looking at the fans who are sitting on stage) Y’all – don’t come up here so you can sing it when you’re fucking flat. I don’t want to fucking know. I can’t even sing and you sing worse than me, it’s sad. Alright.
-BOYS ON THE RADIO
CL: Oh, ok. Water? Please, water? Thank you.
CL: Should we leave? You want to hear anymore?
She holds the mic out to the audience.
Audience screams.
CL: That’s not very loud. We’ll leave. Do you want to hear ANY FUCKING MORE?
She holds the mic out again. Audience screams.
CL: That ain’t shit man, impress me, give me a boner. DO YOU WANT TO HEAR ANYMORE?
She holds the mic out again. Audience screams.
CL: Alright. Alright, that’s fine. Ok, we’ll play some more. Thank you very much. I’m very flattered. Ok, excuse me – this is Samantha Maloney, the best drummer in the Western hemisphere.
Audience screams.
Samantha stands up, holding her arms in the air.
CL: That ain’t shit. Do you know how hard it is to be a fucking drummer with ovaries, let alone the best one in the whole Western hemisphere? No one on this bill today was better than this bitch – I want to hear it LOUD!
Samantha stands up again, holding her arms up.
Audience screams.
CL: Thank you. Do you know this is Eric Erlandson, a Swede who’s a genius? 10 years of putting up with me and that’s all you can give him? He’s Swedish, fuck you, GIVE HIM MORE!
Audience screams.
CL: And this is Melissa – where are you? Get your fucking ass out here. Come here, bitch. This is Melissa, the most beautiful bass player in the history of rock.
Audience screams.
CL: If you guys can get her to take off her shirt, I’ll give you a thousand dollars. Thank you, Sweden, you guys are sweet.
-…BABY ONE MORE TIME (TEASE)
CL: Do you think Max Martin should have given me that?
-SHE WALKS ON ME
-BIGGEST SCAR
CL: (To Eric) You wanna leave?
Eric comes over and talks to Courtney.
CL: Ok, if you want us back, let us know. Bye.
The band leaves the stage.
(Encore break)
The audience is chanting for the band to return.
Courtney and Eric return to the stage.
Courtney gestures at one of the girls who sang with her earlier.
CL: You know, you’re my soulmate except you can’t sing. I’m sorry, play the drums or something. Hi, Sweden.
Audience screams.
CL: Stop being oppressed. Shh, this is really fucking deep, it’s like Ibsen, it’s like Bergman, deal with it. If you’re fucking loud, I can’t concentrate, so shut the fuck up.
-NORTHERN STAR
During the song, Courtney goes down into the audience to sing.
CL: Excuse me.
Someone hands Courtney a bottle of water.
CL: I like you Swedish people because you can…you know the whole Ibsen thing, you can get as melodramatic as you want in this country. It’s so cool. It’s not like England, where I have to pretend I’m not sad. I can actually be real.
-PARADISE CITY
During the song, Courtney takes off her top and the bra underneath. She performs the rest of the show topless.
CL: (During song) Take off your tops – OFF! OFF!
CL: Take off your shirts or I’ll put mine back on.
Opening sample of Celebrity Skin.
CL: Take ’em fucking off…stop. Stop. I am topless in Sweden and I want these fucking Swedish libertine…all ya’ll girls, take your fucking shirts off.
MADM: Beautiful Swedish girls.
CL: Off, thank you very much, boys too, off. Everyone take off their shirts. Come the fuck on. It’s Sweden. Listen, your tits are probably better than mine, get the fucking thing off. I want breasts. Get the fucking things off or you’re off the stage. Thank you. Everyone with a shirt off is on the stage, everyone without…except Melissa, of course, and Sam. Get the fucking tits out, baby! I want a…look at my tits, yours are better, come on. Get that shirt off, get that fucking shirt off or get off my stage.
MADM: No peer pressure though.
CL: I want that shirt off or get off my stage. Do you want to stay on this stage? Then get off. Would you like to get off, ’cause you’re not gonna take off your shirt? Get off your shirt or get the fuck off my…see, on my stage, you get your shirt off…no, my pants don’t come off. You get your shirt off or you leave. You…you wanna leave? Give me your…you’re outta here. I want your shirt off or you leave. Thank you. I need to see more tits, ’cause I’m the only one here. Thank you. If ?? can do it, we can do it, right? OFF, OFF, OFF, OFF! Off – you’re my buddy, you get the guitar, baby. You don’t…get the fuck off your shirt or you ain’t on here. Thank you. You know what? You go back in the audience. Goodbye. Come on, you Catholic, look at me – am I scared? Your breasts are so cute. I need all topless girls on here. This is so cool. Ok, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. This is so amazing, this is so historic, no, the black bra’s gotta go too. Your tits are better than mine. (Laughs) Sweden needs a little relief, Melissa, just let me do this. It’s political. Off, off, off, I want all the shirts off on here. Thank you!
-CELEBRITY SKIN (CUTS BACK IN AT THE BEGINNING)
During the song, Eric stands on Sam’s drum riser.
CL: Thank you, Swedes, and all of you that aren’t chickenshit, I love you. Who with their nipples out wants my guitar? One…two…three – no, you’re a guy, fuck you…I’ll give…no, you’ve got a bra on bitch, you…you don’t count. Can you play? Aw, you’re too pretty, you’re gonna get a good job, I want to give it to an outcast. I’ll give it to you – here.
Courtney takes off her guitar and puts it on a topless girl.
CL: Excellent. Alright, you want it? Ok. Goodnight!
Courtney and the girl with the guitar take a bow.