March 2004, by Jason Gordon
In which Product Shop NYC writer Jason Gordon leaves behind the real word and enters a universe where chaos and confusion rule.
COURTNEY LOVE
Plaid, New York City
March 17, 2004
It was on August 5th, 1994, when I last saw Courtney Love perform live. Nirvana were to headline that summers Lollapalooza Festival, but Kurt Cobain’s suicide changed all that. Instead, on that horrible rainy day that left the crowd soaking wet and covered in mud, Courtney Love made a surprise appearance after the Beastie Boys high energy set and right before The Smashing Pumpkins disappointing headlining performance.
This was Courtney as you may not remember her. She stumbled out from the wing of the stage where a single mic had been set up with a small amp. She had barrettes in her hair and her lips where poorly decorated in fuck-me red lipstick. She wore a tattered off-white baby doll dress with what appeared to be one of Kurt’s jazzmaster guitars hanging almost down to her knees. She plugged her guitar in, mumbled something about, “Whatever, fuck you all. I’m Courtney.” and then proceeded to play extremely slow and solo versions of ‘Doll Parts’ and ‘Miss World’, before throwing the guitar to the ground and stomping off.
Right after Kurt’s death, Courtney had rarely been seen in public. When you did see her, she was a temperamental widow capable of exploding at any moment. Fast forward to an hour and half past midnight on March 17th, where a temperamental, obviously fucked up Courtney Love took the stage at a surprise show at Plaid and you imediately realize how little things have actually changed.
It seems half the fun of seeing a Courtney show is seeing if she falls apart, explodes, goes crazy, kills someone, makes an ass of herself, strips, or loses her mind. The music almost doesn’t matter; it’s simply the key in the ignition of a car that’s loaded with three thousand pounds of dynamite. At the Plaid show, in another crazy week in Courtney’s life, she certainly didn’t need any provoking to go crazy; she did just fine on her own.
When Courtney first stumbled onto the small cramped stage, she already needed help standing up. She immediately started screaming for someone to bring her a guitar, a cigarette, and a god-damn microphone (“I’m only the fucking lead singer.”). Once she got the microphone she screamed to one of the VIP tables in the back, “Hey, Natasha. Natasha Lyonne, pass me my fucking scotch….bitch.” and sure enough a bottle got passed through the crowd to the stage where Courtney started swigging it. “You fuckers ready! This is going to be a disaster!” she announced, “This is going to be a horrible mess. Well, either a horrible show or the best fucking show you ever saw, I mean see, whatever. Fuck. Am I Diva or what? This is going to suck.” She stood tall and smiled the smile that only the mixture of Oxycottin and scotch could provide. Then she repeated that this is going to be horrible or the best about twenty more times.
After about fifteen minutes of rambling and stumbling around, Courtney and her band launched into a sloppy version of ‘But Julian, I’m A Little Bit Old Than You’ and with in seconds of the song starting, she had thrown her guitar off and was falling into the crowd. The madness had just started. As the song ended, the peroxide princess yelled, “Well now we know this is a horrible show. It’s a mess! Is that Bob Gruen. You fucking welfare case. I want a cigarette.” and then asked a girl in the front of the stage to pick a song to play. Some doofus yelled ‘Freebird’ and she said okay and the band started playing a cover of some old Heart song or something.
It was chaos. During ‘All the Drugs’ she threw her mic stand into the crowd and then gave a quick flash of her tit to the crowd. During ‘Malibu’ she tried to play guitar but couldn’t, so she threw her guitar into the crowd. People grabbed for it but somehow it made its way back to the stage. Turns out it wasn’t even her guitar! She had merely taken (borrowed) a guitar from someone in Unkle Fucker, one of the opening acts. She threw herself back into the crowd and shit, even the security guards by the front of the stage was laughing at this point.
She was fumbling for a cigarette when she fell again and her entire band clamored around her, not to help her up, but to light her cigarette. An hour had passed and only five songs had been played when they launched into ‘Mono’. Courtney tried to use a guitar but couldn’t even hold the pick. By the time they started playing the song, she had already dropped the thing to the ground and instead decided to stick her head into the kick drum?!?!?
When the song ended she cursed some more and then was more or less carried offstage, where she was immediately fucking arrested by police! Turns out that when she threw the mic stand into the crowd, it some kid in the head who decided to press charges.
So there she is, stumbling around, fucked up at around 2:30 in the morning, being arrested, and living up to her reputation as only Courtney Love can.