Venue: Dirty Dog Bar
Location: Austin, TX
Band Lineup: Courtney Love (Guitar/Vocals), Micko Larkin (Guitar), Invisible Dave (Guitar), Shawn Dailey (Bass), and Stuart Fisher (Drums).
CL: Is there any way to get this on stage sound better? My voice sucks.
CL: So let me tell you why I’m doing this. I’m doing this because I’m doing this for me, not for you, so if you happen to like it, great. If you don’t happen to like it, suck it.
Girl in Crowd: Already amazing.
CL: It’s a blues note, Shawn.
-CODINE
CL: (During song) (To Micko) Go. Do it. (Micko jams).
–PRETTY ON THE INSIDE
-SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL
-SKINNY LITTLE BITCH
CL: Yo, these guitar picks are making my fingers bleed. Can I have, like, thicker guitar picks, please?
CL: ?? These…these are like…I don’t know who these are for. These are for, like, Lindsey Buckingham or something.
A crew member comes over.
CL: No, you’re not getting yelled at, but…but the point is that I hate the…I hate these picks. I like the orange picks, but they’re better than those things. They’re like little fingernails. They’re baby fingernails.
CL: Aw, shit. How does that song go again?
CL: You wouldn’t believe I don’t know this song.
She plays a chord.
CL: That’s not it. What?
She takes off her guitar.
CL: This is totally amateur and I don’t care.
CL: Just tune the fucking thing, so I can play the old chestnut that the kids love.
CL: Isn’t Micko hot? Look how fast he can tune. This is…this is like…and he’s not wee either, he’s a big boy. Faster than me, faster than you.
CL: Y’all wanna hear that shitty old Doll Parts thing?
Audience screams.
CL: Alright, this is the one thing I’m playing for you, ’cause I couldn’t be arsed to play this song.
She puts her guitar back on.
CL: This is for you fuckers, if I can remember it. Gosh, three chords, hmm…
-DOLL PARTS
During the song, Courtney says, “WHAT?” and holds the mic out to the audience, letting them finish some of the lyrics.
CL: So we’re not gonna do anymore really loud songs, like Violet. Sorry.
Audience screams.
CL: Um, because if you want me to play tomorrow, then my voice…that fucking hotel has air conditioning. You can’t have a chain smoker and air conditioning – it doesn’t work, so my voice is shot. So I can only sing to you little pretty things, like Malibu, alright?
Audience screams.
CL: Before I sing Malibu, I’m gonna sing a song I think is infinitely better.
-HONEY
CL: (During song) (To Micko) Acoustic.
CL: Alright, Micko – I’ve gotta break this to you. If you go anywhere above that volume, I’m not gonna be able to sing the rest of this set, let alone tomorrow, ok? So you gotta play really quiet…and whoever’s doing the monitors, I don’t want him loud in my monitors. My voice is shot to shit anyway.
CL: You guys, I’m really sorry that we suck, but actually not because I’m doing this for me, so enjoy the suckage. What, you missed today? We were fine today, we were very good today. It’s one-fucking-am, I’m an elderly person. It’s time for me to get, you know, get my blowjob on and go to sleep.
Guy in Crowd: I love you!
Girl in Crowd: Courtney fucking Love, I fucking love you!
Guy in Crowd: We love you!
Guy in Crowd: Olympia!
CL: No Olympia, fat fucking chance. With my voice like this? Dream on. That’s not gonna happen. I’d stage dive, but I can’t. No, my voice is shot, you fuckers, and this is a dive bar with a crap sound. (To the audience) What? You wanna sing? Would you like to sing? What can you sing?
Girl in Crowd: Everything!
CL: Name a song you can sing, you can sing it. No, what can you sing? Alright, let’s do one you know that I like. Here’s one I like that you know. Alright.
-MALIBU
CL: That one went alright. This is a mellow show, not a punk show.
CL: (To Micko) Alright, guess what? I know what you want to do and you’re not gonna get to do it, so just turn it down, my love. I love you (her voice fades out).
Micko says something to Courtney.
CL: If I can’t play tomorrow, talk to the Gretsch. Talk to the Gretsch if I can’t sing tomorrow.
Girl in Crowd: You don’t have to talk tomorrow!
Girl in Crowd: Courtney fucking Love!
CL: Right. How about, like, not showing up to Perez’s party? Really good move, right?
Audience screams.
CL: Wrong. It took me and that bitch two years to make up – I’m making his party.
CL: Right, follow along.
-GOLD DUST WOMAN
Courtney takes off her headpiece during the song and puts it aside.
(CUT)
CL: I think I know the lyrics, because if I don’t, you sure as fuck don’t. So let’s see how this goes. This song is about tawdry, lurid sex with someone you really, really shouldn’t be doing it with – not that I would know a thing about that.
Girl in Crowd: Courtney fucking Love!
-SOMEONE ELSE’S BED
CL: This is me without a guitar. How’s that going for you?
Audience screams.
CL: I got…I really liked doing that song. I got some Elvis, sort of Suspicious Minds out of that thing. Did you get that?
Audience screams.
CL: I kind of got that for the first time. It was like…I got kind of…you know that, unh, unh (grabbing her breasts)…and my voice is shot, but I still got it. I mean, I mean…in a sense, I still got it up. I still got an erection.
Audience screams.
CL: Who do you think gets more pussy – me or Micko?
Opening chords to Northern Star.
CL: Wait. Start again. I was making my pussy joke. It was the first time I ever made it. Who do you think gets more pussy – you or me?
Audience screams.
CL: Well, you get the better pussy.
CL: Alright, boys.
-NORTHERN STAR
CL: I think we should do one more. Micko wrote a song that’s better, but he says he has to be brought out…um, uh, what was I gonna say? Oh, that song reminds me of just really spooky sex. Everything reminds of me sex tonight, I’m sorry.
Audience screams.
CL: Doesn’t that song remind you of something, like, really scary? Like…it’s just a doomed song. (To the audience) Are you my therapist? We should…should we talk about this?
CL: (To Micko) Let’s do Bette Davis Eyes. Just you and me, just do it with Stu…
CL: Stu, come back up here. We need you, to do, like, 80s drums. It’s super easy and my voice is fine up here without the electric shit. Stu! Alright, fine.
-BETTE DAVIS EYES
CL: (During the song) (To Micko) I never made a mistake.
CL: Worst show of my life. I’m so glad you were here to witness it. Goodnight. Go see a good blues band.
Courtney stage dives.
Guy in Crowd #1: Excuse me.
Guy in Crowd #2: She’s right there!
Girl in Crowd: She didn’t get the memo, I guess.