Venue: Deep Ellum Live
Location: Dallas, TX
Hole Lineup: Courtney Love (Guitar/Vocals), Eric Erlandson (Guitar), Melissa Auf der Maur (Bass/Background Vocals), and Patty Schemel (Drums).
Courtney pours water on the audience.
Guy in Crowd #1: Oh, she’s baptizing us! (Laughs)
Guy in Crowd #2: She’s so ugly.
CL: Hello.
Audience screams.
CL: We’re Bauhaus.
-PLUMP
CL: As loud as they can go, ’cause my voice is shot. As loud as they can go. My voice is gone, sorry. So, let’s just do spoken word.
-NEVER GO AWAY
-BEAUTIFUL SON
Someone in Crowd: Courtney!
Girl in Crowd: (Imitating Courtney with a whiny voice) They really want to…
Guy in Crowd: How could you tell if her voice was shot?
Girl in Crowd: Who’d know? There are a bunch of chicks body surfing. I really wanna do it.
Someone in Crowd: Courtney!
CL: Craig, Craig…Craig, will you get me a little whiskey to gargle? My…my voice is shot, so I’m gonna smoke, hold on. Yeah, you’re so considerate.
Courtney tries to sing, but she’s only able to muster up a low croak.
CL: Ah…ah…ah. If I can do it, you can do it. Ah…ah…ah.
Guy in Crowd: Man, she’s so cool.
Girl in Crowd: What?
Guy in Crowd: She is so cool.
CL: It’s all that crack.
Audience cheers.
CL: Oh, that’s why Gibby’s from here. Everyone cheering so…
-MISS WORLD
CL: Thanks.
Someone in Crowd: Courtney!
CL: I…I think I can sing now…ahh. I mixed some vodka and Bailey’s and whiskey and beer.
Audience cheers.
Guy in Crowd: She is so cool!
CL: I’ll try it.
-JENNIFER’S BODY
Guy in Crowd: Is she hurt?
Girl in Crowd #1: About to be.
Girl in Crowd #2: Dammit man, they got about fifty people standing on one foot, they can step on…
Girl in Crowd #1: Are you ok?
CL: I was just telling Patty that we…we went gold today, man. Like, it impresses your grandma, I mean – and the guy said we can have five…five records for any member of your family. I know, gold’s tacky, right? I…they’re limited press, either fifteen hundred or ten million, in between. I just thought I’d share it with you, our little moment of parental pride. You know, fuck you.
-ASKING FOR IT
CL: Thank you.
Girl in Crowd #1: She said she’s been spitting whiskey all morning…she said I need some whiskey to gargle with…she goes (gargling noise), (spitting noise), I could smell it…
Girl in Crowd #2: She’s pretty good. I’m surprised.
Girl in Crowd #1: Why won’t you put me on your shoulders?
CL: This is Melissa Auf der Maur.
Audience cheers.
CL: Louder please. LOUDER! Don’t make me waste my voice. LOUDER!
MADM: ?? Thank you.
CL: Patty, is your sister here?
Sue: YES, I AM!
CL: Sue. Patty…Patty went gold today. Patty’s sister. Patty said her drum riser’s gonna get bigger.
Guy in Crowd: Fuckin’ rule!
CL: Fuck you, I’m talking. Shut up.
Audience cheers.
CL: Isn’t this the place where that bouncer beat up Kurt?
Guy in Crowd: No!
CL: Does that guy still work here? I saw it on tape, it was one of you guys – broke his nose, right?
Guy in Crowd: Get the fuck out!
CL: Was anybody here when that happened?
Audience screams.
CL: It’s legendary.
Guy in Crowd: It was at Trees!
CL: Well, if you know who he is, tell me and I’ll get him.
-GUTLESS
CL: Uh, we’d like to thank Veruca Salt and um, is Maggie still around? And Maggie, for playing with us. Two fine bands. Uh…I’m in a Pavement mood right now ok, here we go. That means I’m cooler than you.
-SOFTER SOFTEST
Melissa gestures to the painting of Tom Selleck that’s on stage.
MADM: Y’all see Tom Selleck here. He’s our guardian angel for this tour. He’s a sweetie.
CL: That’s Tom Selleck, ’cause I’m fucking…I’m fucking him this week.
Someone in Crowd: Billy!
CL: No, that was last week. I told you, next week is Selleck. Slowly I’ll make my way up the charts. I’m gonna get to Garth pretty soon.
Audience cheers.
Eric plays a country riff on his guitar.
CL: We’ve been bonin’ up. You just get ’em on tour with you and they’re all yours. Girls, start bands, wanna be a groupie.
CL: (Singing) I wanna fuck you like a duck.
CL: Alright, Melissa, that’s the last animal fucking reference I’ll ever make, ok. I’m sorry.
-I THINK THAT I WOULD DIE
-BEST SUNDAY DRESS
CL: I need a light. Not a light light.
MADM: You want her soul and her cigarettes?
MADM: No, no, no. A room without a rug is like a kiss without a hug. Remember that.
CL: Madonna just said in The Face that if it wasn’t for her – my band, and Babes in Toyland, and Liz Phair, and L7, and PJ Harvey would have never existed. I’m…I’m just curious as to the philosophical ramifications of that comment.
Guy in Crowd: Fuck her!
CL: No, I mean, not fuck her – what is she thinking? I know it’s bullshit. We all know that. Without Madonna, there’d be no PJ Harvey – what? Ok, shush, shush, we’re gonna meditate on this – Madonna carrying her amp…into a bar…but flying a makeup artist in with a Lear jet. I don’t know, this was just bugging me all day, sorry to share. Oh no, we’re not playing anymore. I’m just gonna stand here.
Audience cheers.
CL: Ok, let’s…let’s go on this train of thought a little more – L7 equals Madonna…ok, Madonna…
Guy in Crowd: Fuck L7!
CL: No, L7’s a fine band, shut up. Ok, without Madonna, there’d be no L7. Maybe she took a lot of acid. That would be it. I do to know what acid is. I took more than you.
Guy in Crowd: I bet you love it!
CL: My Dad gave it to me.
-PRETTY ON THE INSIDE
-CREDIT IN THE STRAIGHT WORLD
A guy in the audience whoops.
CL: Is that that Arsenio Hall noise? Do that again, I wanna hear how…how it’s done.
Audience: Ooooh oooh ooooh!
CL: Is that like a frat party thing? Please, please do it one more time. Please. Oh…is you go ‘oooh oooh oooh’? So it’s this guttural kinda grunt coming from your pelvic area?
Girl in Crowd: Did she do I missed…
Guy in Crowd: Her skirt.
Girl in Crowd: She has on a skirt?
Guy in Crowd: (Laughs).
Girl in Crowd: I love you!
CL: I had high hopes. The woman in me was alive and…it didn’t get anymore alive, how about that?
Girl in Crowd: We love you, Courtney!
CL: Well, it…it…pretend two…two cartoon characters going to bed with each other, it’s kinda weird.
Guy in Crowd: ??
CL: No, you can’t have one. They’re bad for you.
-TEENAGE WHORE
Girl in Crowd: Gosh, I wonder why her voice is shot?
Guy in Crowd: What?
Girl in Crowd: I wonder why her voice is shot.
Guy in Crowd: Yeah.
-IMPROV (MY DUMB MOUTH)
-DOLL PARTS
CL: Thanks.
Guy in Crowd: Rock Star!
Someone in Crowd: Courtney!
CL: What? I can hear all of that. Is this for? You want it back? Oh, I can give it to my…Frances loves Mickey Mouse. Mickey Mouse! Mickey Mouse!
CL: I’ll take some.
Someone in Crowd: ??
CL: Ask Krist and Dave? Am I in a band with them? How would I know? Frances is fine. No, she went away for the week, ’cause we’re going through Texas, all the right-wingers down here, you know.
Audience screams.
CL: No, Texas is where you get death threats. Seriously. How’s what? Lee Harvey Oswald? Is that what you’re saying?
-VIOLET
CL: (Panting) I was faking it every time…I was faking it.
-NEVER GO AWAY
Girl in Crowd: (During song) They played this song – if you play it back, they played this song.
Guy in Crowd: (During song) They did. They played it at the beginning.
Girl in Crowd: (During song) I told you.
Guy in Crowd: (During song) Do you think it’s about Kurt?
CL: Goodnight.
CL: Whoever catches this is the next person to get married.
Guy in Crowd: Fuck that.
Guy in Crowd: Sing a little lower than that.
Girl in Crowd: Their songs are all very strange.
(Fade out)
CL: Hi.
-I’M SO HIGH
-DRUNK IN RIO
-WHOSE PORNO YOU BURN (BLACK)
-IMPROV (WHEN I’M THROUGH FUCKING YOU)
CL: Just don’t go too long, ’cause I was being self indulgent. Ok.
-OLYMPIA/HUSH LITTLE BABY