Venue: Brixton Academy
Location: London, England
Hole Lineup: Courtney Love (Guitar/Vocals), Eric Erlandson (Guitar), Melissa Auf der Maur (Bass/Background Vocals), and Patty Schemel (Drums).
Indian music is playing.
CL: Hi. Kiss my ass.
Audience screams.
CL: We’re Pearl Jam.
-PLUMP
CL: Thanks. That was a really bad rip off of I Wanna Be Your Dog.
Opening chords to Beautiful Son.
CL: (Singing) You look good in my…
CL: What? What? Well excuse uh…
Patty’s snare drum has broken.
CL: Alright, that fucking stupid song ??
-BEAUTIFUL SON
-MISS WORLD
Girl in Crowd: We love you!
CL: I’ve just gotta take off my shoe. It’s hurting…hold on.
-TAKE AWAY JAM (AKA TIME)
-JENNIFER’S BODY
CL: Thanks.
Audience screams.
CL: What? What? You want a cigarette?
-DROWN SODA
CL: A tall.
Guy in Crowd: Courtney! Courtney!
Girl in Crowd: Doll Parts!
CL: That’s Melissa Auf der Maur.
Audience cheers.
CL: Go.
-ASKING FOR IT
CL: Did Offspring play here?
Audience: YES!
CL: Ok, they’re our friends, right, so uh, you..you guys are currently really sheepy, so my friend Bryan, the singer, goes, uh, ‘Is Courtney, uh, um, hot or rad or something?’ And you didn’t know what to say and he goes, ‘Do you think Courtney’s a bitch?’ And you all went ‘Yeah!’ ‘Cause you thought that’s what you were supposed to say. Is that true? Is that how sheepy you fucking English are? Get a life! GET A FUCKING LIFE!
Audience screams.
CL: This is for the ones that looked at the other ones and said ‘What should we say?’
-GUTLESS
– IMPROV (MY MESSIAH)
CL: So that didn’t really happen, that’s just some NME writer writing that, is that what you’re saying?
Audience: Yeah!
CL: That…that Offspring thing didn’t happen, right? It was just one writer?
Audience: Yeah!
CL: So you guys didn’t do that with Offspring, right, that was a lie from a writer? C’mon I want a fucking answer, you little shits! Alright. Jesus.
CL: Will you share?
Audience cheers.
CL: Don’t throw it back or I’ll get really mad, ok? Sure.
CL: Ok, when you were in third form, there was this girl in your class, she stank really bad, and it was me and you picked on her a lot.
-SOFTER, SOFTEST
CL: Thank you…a whole fucking lot! Thanks.
CL: Ha. Sorry.
-I THINK THAT I WOULD DIE
Guy in Crowd: Melissa!
CL: Thanks for throwing your flannels up here. I’m glad that you’re aware that grunge is dead. Melissa likes Menswear.
Audience cheers.
CL: It’s ’cause they’re from Canada.
MADM: That’s where I should be. They’re playing tonight. Why do you care? Competish…
CL: It’s a Canadian thing. I don’t understand.
MADM: That’s right. Oh no, she’s jinxing me.
CL: I am not jealous.
MADM: No, you’re not jealous. You’re teasing me, big sista.
CL: Ok, Blissa.
CL: This is about a jerk.
-BEST SUNDAY DRESS
-CREDIT IN THE STRAIGHT WORLD
-JUST DO IT/CRIPPLE DANCE
CL: Let’s name that song, shall we? It doesn’t have a name – what do we call it? Just Get it the Fuck Over With.
-TEENAGE WHORE
CL: Thanks.
Audience screams.
CL: You only love me because you don’t know about evil things yet. When you grow up and learn about evil things, it’ll be all over. Wait, let me get drunk. It’s water.
-CARS (TEASE)
-DOLL PARTS
CL: This is another song about a different jerk.
The band begins playing Violet.
CL: (Singing) When the sky was made of amethyst…
CL: What now? What is it?
Patty’s drum pedal has broken.
MADM: Patty’s foot…the…the…the thing is broken.
CL: Patty’s drums. I’m sorry.
-SHE’S LOST CONTROL
-VIOLET
-SUGAR COMA
CL: Thanks a lot. Goodnight.
(Cut)
The band returns to the stage. Courtney has changed into a black dress.
-HE HIT ME (AND IT FELT LIKE A KISS)
Girl in Crowd: Throw something! Throw your guitar! Throw it! Throw it!
CL: Yeah, we’re gonna sing a song. I wrote this with my husband.
Audience cheers.
-OLD AGE
Guy in Crowd: Melissa!
CL: Yeah, but what kind of band do you think he likes? I mean, look at him. He probably goes home and listens to Take That and jacks off, right? But I like the one with the dreadlocks – he’s cute.
Guy in Crowd: Melissa!
CL: Ok, here’s a goddamn ‘nother one for your Circus act, you middle row shits.
CL: Uh, me and Patty and Er…Kurt wrote this song once. It’s called Closing Time.
-DRUNK IN RIO (AKA CLOSING TIME)
CL: Thanks. I didn’t write the good part.
CL: Hey, I’m sorry about our drum problem, ‘kay? Be a little nicer and then I can play the last fucking song y’all!
Audience cheers.
CL: NO WAY PUSSIES! LOUDER!
Audience cheers louder.
CL: Thank you very fucking much. Hey, are you the guy who looked at the other guy when Offspring said that, you little sheep guy? I see you. You’re not one of us, so go away – go to a Pearl Jam show, you little shit!
CL: Oh, what a sweet token of remembrance.
CL: He said I was boring? I’ve never been called boring in my life. I should just fuck him for that. Hey, dude – here, for you, for saying I was boring. You’re a first.
-OLYMPIA/PASSIONATE FRIEND/TOUCH THE SKY/IMPROV (STARE AT THE CEILING)
Patty smashes up her drum kit. Courtney throws microphones, drums, and cymbals into the crowd.
Courtney stage dives. When she gets back on stage, the top half of her dress has been torn off.